A room full of executives went silent. Then two of them stood up and yelled at me.

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Last fall, I stood on a stage at a gathering of executives.The exercise was simple. Each of us had to say one thing we had not done yet,in our career, in our life.

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I started by telling one story. Then I explained I had thirty years of them, from thirty years in male-dominated organizations. They asked for another. I obliged. I have kept these stories tucked away for years, never knowing the right way to make them not about me, but about what women actually experience at work.

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The room went quiet. Not comfortable quiet. The kind where nobody wants to be the first person to react.

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Then I said it. I have wanted to write a book about this for years. About how the systems need to change.

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Two people I know well stood up and yelled at me from their seats. Why haven't you written this book? You have to write this book. You have no choice.

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Afterward, I found one of the men in the audience standing off to the side. He looked distraught. I asked if he was okay.

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He looked at me and said, Tina, I have daughters. I cannot imagine this happening to them.

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We stood there and agreed on something neither of us wanted to be true. This is not only still happening. It is getting worse.

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I left that room with one job left to do. Write the book.

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It comes out at the end of September. Change the System, Not the Women.

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